fri 13/7

here's my review for the week: was really quite down the entire week, plus I didnt go for the service/unit/cg the week before. During the week, I thought back about my walk/growth in Christ. I couldn't help comparing with others, esp ppl who are spiritually stronger than me. Using them as a yardstick, I felt my own walk with God was alright, but growth was too slow, esp since the cg seems to be quite short-handed. I couldn't wait for my growth, and I couldn't see myself growing. It didn't seem like I was growing right, or at the right pace either.

Basically, for the entire week, my mood was off-the-mark. I was discouraged, self-esteem and confidence took a dive. I thought about how I'm still not disciplined enough to want to read my bible, qt and pray everyday; I have to drag myself to do it at times, and I will honestly forget to do it sometimes and only to realise it the next day or the day after. I also reminiscenced about my past; thinking of how much time I had wasted, how little knowledge/wisdom I had accumulated when I could have made full use of the time that I had in the past to do so. I was apprehensive about how I could contribute to the cg etc.

Thank God for calyn that day. She called, and we talked. Started out quite surface, but as I was bored in my uneventful job, we continued to talk. As the conversation grew deeper, we touched on the topic of my worries and doubts.

I had quite a number of worries on my mind, though many a times the verse "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself" (Matt 7:34) popped up into my mind. Not only was I worrying about how my relationship with God has (not) been growing, I was dan xin for Meiyi as well. She doesn't seem to be receptive to the idea of going to the poly group, and has been avoiding that qn since the beginning of time (just kidding). There are also a number of issues I hope to bring to attention to her, but I do not know how to put them into words, such that they may not hurt her, yet rivets her focus back to these issues, and gravitate her centre to God.

There's also the time problem. I need more time, Lord!! 24 hours for a day, 7 days a week is simply not enough for me! Free time for the both of us seem to be always clashing, what with her CCAs, meetings, school and tuition work. I need to meet up with her to talk regularly, but we cant even find time to talk on the phone anymore. =((

As aforementioned, I worry about the amount I'm able to contribute to the cg. We have phantom members, hotel/hosp/holiday-resort members, visiting members and incoming members. I'm worried for lyndia, simin, meiyi and jasmine, for now. I want to talk to them, connect with them, and hope to see them grow in Christ, but I find it difficult to meet up with them. Now I think I will have more time on my hands, so I'll have truckloads of time for them! However, one-to-one is a bit scary for me, so I need free ppl to come with me --> volunteers pls! =)) Or, if any one of you is meeting up with any of them for unofficial reasons and do not mind me tagging, pls call 9******* and mj will be happy to answer! =) Oh, this applies to any of the freshmen too =)

Oh, I digressed. Hmm, so on fri, calulyn called (love the nickname lily came up with). We talked, and I told her about how I think I've been stagnant. She gave me plenty of examples that showed me how she thinks I've grown, and little by little, I grew less apprehensive, more encouraged, more confident that my walk with God has not been fruitless, more determined to persevere and grow further. =))

Yeap! I think that's what might have sparked the numerous games ideas that I had =D

WWWWHHHHEEEE!!

Okay, I shall end with something God just reminded me about.
[Paul's] Call to Persevere
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another..."
~Hebrews 10:23-25a

Shall end here!
This is MJ reporting live, from NusB2, Hope Church Singapore.

See you guys soon! Can't wait to play the game =DD