putting on out thinking caps!

It' s been quite some time since I posted or looked at this site..;p Well, I'm only a last paper away..so thought of typing down some of my thoughts and reflections recently..since I'm in a rare mood to type on my PRESTIGO laptop (eh..though it's not exactly a fantastic brand, it's still usable and fine..=P) ..Here're some questions that maybe some of us may thought of before:

What if I can't find the "right one" before I reach 30yrs?
What should I do to win the favor and maybe approval of this person?
I'm so fearful to having to boldly tell others that God's real..What if they dont believe what I say? What if they look down on me as a "out-dated religious freako"?
Why on Earth am I supposed to do in and with my life? What if what I do is wrong?
....

So many of these internal dialogues and thoughts..have you ever had any one of such "conversations" with your heart? This inner struggle between even what you think you should know, and what you really feel and believe about? "I know God's good, but if that's so why did this and that happened to me?" "I know loving people is important and I want to do it, but why is it so difficult when it really comes to doing it?"

As far as our theoretical mind can make sense of, our heart sometimes cannot keep up with its pace..it falls behind, feeling strended and lost, feeling lonely and sad because it doesnt understand why it has to do the things it need to do..sometimes the mind takes a break because it's too tired of the struggle or it just gives up thinking..the heart takes control and do all it desires, only to find that it starts to do things that dont make sense when looking back..

God gave us brains to be intrigue by His powers, wonders and greatness..Hearts to feel His love, grace and mercy...But these two sometimes just dont work well together dont they?

Of the so many people that I've met and seen, there are people who think too much, only to end up very lost and even blurrer than before they started off (ironically..we should get clearer as we think and make sense more?) Some think so much that they just sit there to think everyday, but not do anything much constructively..(and I'm not refering to day-dreaming) Some people just dont think that much..they just live day by day as it gets by, emotions led by the ups and downs of triviality of life and circumstances..When asked why they feel the way they feel and why they do the things they do, they could only strug and not know why..

To a certain extent, I could feel and understand what all these people felt, because I've experienced them before. In saying so, I dont mean that I've overcame and make sense of all these things that I felt or do, but I think somehow or another, everyone would have experienced this too..

oops..dont mean to drown ya in my long long essay..haha..But in the quest of our search for meaning and purpose in life, what do we make sense of all these things that we're going through? To all the questions of "whys" and "hows", where do we look to find all the answers? Sometimes, we really just need to put on our shield of faith (Eph 6:16), to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor 5:7), to seek our Maker, and trust in God, for His ways are always higher and better (Isa 55:9)

About the issue of heart and mind struggle, my personal conviction is this..if we're able to really obey this verse,

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor 10:5)

so let the heart reconcile with the mind in line with the bible. Maybe at the end of the day, it's not a matter of how the mind and heart don't click well together..but rather, either one, or sometimes both, are not flowing in linel with the bible..