for i am weak, then i am strong

I felt an urge to write this post in the middle of the night after seeing my dear sister who has been very busy juggling with her troubles and work to pay for her own expenses and handling family problems. Indeed troubles come to everyone n every person tinks that he or she is in the deepest valley. it is definitely a long story to share and we cannot share it to everybody cos of certain reasons like parents forbidding or too lazy to say (thats me)haha...

We may not know wads going on specifically in one another's issues but we know that we r having some challenges in life, and jus this knowledge alone is enough for us to help n pray for them to overcome wadeva obstacles there mayb ahead.

im worried about 2 sisters....both of them so sweet and helpful(just like every hope member). despite each of them having their own troubles, they wanna help each other out. And I broke off with my gf, with her mum harassing me with her sms every now and then, i feel bitterness and sadness and pain (thnks to calyn hu says i onli use my mind and strength to do tings instead of my heart and soul)breaking up is not as issue but its abt myself, i cannot accept myself to be like that, i wun turn bak to a failed r-ship n yet i feel bitter if she gets together with someone, in short, im selfish....and of cos many other inner strugglesi had with myself da past mth. Whose prob is worse? ALL r as bad, to us ourselves.

we have 2 choices now: either we can indulge in melancholy mood, or choose to pick ourselves up n face all odds. I chose the latter, for i m glad n sad that our bros n sis have been helping me, glad to know they r around, sad to know im imposing on them, esp calyn, hu onli knows how to share swts with me, yet i always give her problems.

so come on sisters, let us pick ourselves up, instead of indulging ourselves in mel mel mode, why not tink of things we can do to bless ourselves n bless ppl. Women are getting stronger these days, stronger than men in fact(just look at our church), and da 2 of u r strong WOMEN rite?wads more we have unlimited help from our bros and sis in christ 24/7 =D if this journey cannot be any easier, we shall and we must get stronger...and all this i pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

ps:can post such tings on da blog? oh well, i already posted it

Sat 21/6

Hey, here I am again. Hadn't had the time to post till now. Anyhow, Sat was a great great great day! =)) We had the cycling event, followed by lunch, and service. Cycling was great, though the bike was terrible. Lunch was even better, we got to talk =) Service was the best, and the after-service was even even even better! =DD


A few of us stayed after service, I was debating if I should be on my way home, since it was way past 10pm. I wanted to stay, not only because of simin, but also because I thought the content of the talk was so good, I felt I had to stay. I wanted to stay and listen to Derrick, Calyn and Simin, their thoughts, opinions, lives etc. It was a wonderful time of fellowship, and real fellowship at that.

I guess that day was a day when I really got to know them, to see them for who they were, especially Simin and Derrick. You know Derrick is like, funny, wacko and all that, but his deep is like... really deep. It's comparable to the deep questions Huili would throw sometimes. -scary- Calyn and Derrick were talking about Minyi, this freshie, whom they had lunch with that day. They were discussing something about God, His existence and all that. I think someone said Minyi's issue is why she needs God in her life, as in, she doesn't know why, doesn't think she needs God in her life right now.

And.. my mouth just had to open and say, "Oh yeah, I thought of that too before coming to church." Right after that, Calyn had that evil glint (haha just kidding) in her eye, and out of her mouth came, "So do you know why?" Hmm, I sort of know, but not really. As in, it's a feeling that I couldn't explain, at that point of time. So I resolved to come back to this, and tucked it into the back of my head.

Slept on the way home, so couldn't think. But I think I sort of got my answer, as in, it's a personalised answer, for me. I think it would definitely be different for you guys.

While thinking about it, I could come up with all sorts of random answers, for instance, security, love, peace, joy, hope, forgiveness, etc. However, what I think is really the issue at hand when one encounters this question, is are you really satisfied with your life now? Are you fully peaceful and at rest with your heart and soul now? Are you able to maintain composure for most times, least to say at all times? Are you truly grateful and glad you're 'alive and well' in this world?

I guess it's really quite a self-centred question. It's like asking what do I get from acknowledging God. Likewise in business relations/transactions, CEOs/project managers would always ask, what do I get if I sponsor/oversee this project of yours? What do I stand to gain?

However, a relationship with God goes far far far beyond that. It goes beyond the boundaries of defining what you can get, what you stand to gain from, because what God can give you, is something that we can never foresee or measure. It is unthinkable, it is beyond our abilities.

I guess if someone asked me Minyi's question, I would shoot back "Why do you think you do not need God in your life?", then see what the reply would be. For myself, I decided to look to God for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I wanted to repent from my sinful ways; essentially, what I wanted was a U-turn in life. My second reason is that I wanted my innocence as a child back again. I wanted to be free. I wanted answers, guidance, truth, in my walk in life. I wanted to know more, beyond this world; I wanted to know if there was more to life than what I had experienced or heard.

I got more than what I asked for. Along the way, I picked up a peace of mind, restfulness, love, joy, forgiveness, patience, truth, perseverence, and much much more - all these are invaluable. I made a handful of friends who truly care, a bunch of like-minded peeps, who really love each other and care for one another - priceless. I gained a Shepherd, a Teacher, Father etc, one whom I could look up to and at, at any point of time - that's truly amazing. He's not afraid to rebuke me, guides me to the Truth, shows me the Way when I'm lost, and gives me Life. =)

Basically, my answer to Minyi's question can be better expressed in the song by Hillsong, How could I live, one of my favourite songs. =)

Oh! Haha I don't know if this is like imagination of mine that's working overtime, but I was listening to Lincoln Brewster's Lord I lift Your Name on High, and I was tracing Jesus' route from Heaven to earth to the cross (on a hill), to the grave and back to Heaven, and I realised it forms a 'W'! Haha so cool.

Yeep! I'm off, it's going to be a busy busy busy week! =) See you guys tmr! =)

Sat 14/6

Hey peeps. Huili called for us to share our lives freely with one another, and I guess I will.. though a bit paiseh. But since it's on a blog, I'm hidden from public eyes! But still, as I'm typing, your eyes and images of you guys are so clear... Crap! Get out of my mind, guys! Haha okay I'm being crazy =P Anyway, here goes..... *blush*

Sat 14/6 was a day of great meaning to me. Not only was it the poly ess, it was the day both God and the devil became so clear to me. You guys know I went for netballuxion in the morning helping edmund do saikang, lugging cans and packs of 100 plus and bottles of water here and there, giving out goodie bags. Here are all the things you guys didn't know about..

I went home, fell asleep, woke up at 6pm without an alarm. First thing in my mind was "Die! mingjiao you're so late you're so dead!" Next thing that popped out was "Don't go larh. Don't go, it's only the poly ess, no use to you." So this went on, the debate so alive in my mind. Still, my feet dragged me out of the house, as this lively debate was stuck in my mind. Right after the bus came, God 'left' me. He quietened down, He didn't utter a word. The devil spoke so much, he was so loud, noisy, clear, taunting and tempting, eg "See, you should have gone home" when I found out I had my monthly reminder that I'm a girl at Woodlands (40 mins to somerset). So there I sat, totally still with fear, with those thoughts of going home still in my head.

Reached somerset, went to the toilet to see if it was a dispensing machine, but there wasn't. Irritated. Went 7-11, saw that it was selling at an exorbitatnt amount and got irritated again. By this time, I was not only irritated by the situation, but with God too. I was irritated with Him for not letting me go home, for waking me up, for not putting a dispenser in the toilet so I can just pay $1 instead of $4.20. I was irritated, annoyed, pissed and dejected. I was annoyed with my head (not because it's small, minghan), kept telling myself to stop it, to hold those thoughts, to take captive of them and make them obedient to Christ like in 2 Cor _:_ (dont rmb where). But I couldn't.

Dragged myself to service, saw the ushers armed, aimed, took their best shot at and pulverised me with their smiles and warm happy 'welcome!'. Immediately the horrible thoughts were silenced. As I climbed up the stairs, I remember having a thought pop into my mind "Lord, save me"; till now, I don't know where that came from. The moment it was rooted in my mind, the evil thought took place yet again.

Sat in my seat, I was too late for praise and worship; I was glad the play started so I could concentrate on something else. The start was nothing much, I was too occupied stoning, I was basically just sitting there, tired out from all that debate, stoning, glad for the silence in my mind. Nothing though, touched me like the song from Lifehouse, Beautiful. The lyrics were so meaningful, it drove right to my heart. I could see how horrible I've been, how horrible I can be without God in my life. I could feel God's love, his care and concern for me again. I saw how terribly tempted I was, how weak and small I am. But He was with me. I was so undeserving, yet He is still with me. I was so upset with God for nothing, for my selfishness, yet He brought me back. Yet He loves me. Tears welled up, face scrunched, heart touched, softened, as I stared at the lyrics on the screen. I was so upset with myself, disappointed, ashamed; I let Him down again. However, as tears streamed down, pouring, an image of the Lord floated into my mind. He was saying "It's alright, it's alright, I'm here now"...

I thank God for that. I felt Him there so much, it touched my heart, warm and soft. It was a lesson, a whole new experience like never before. The rest was history.
I thank God for everything I went through, for pulling/seeing me through all these. I thank Him for Him.

I guess I could write an essay about this, but I would like to just leave it at that. (Don't wanna bore you guys to death.) God is so amazing. See you guys later! I hope we win!! =))

Hey peeps! Calyn lent me this book called Traveling Light by Max Lucado, and I want to share with you guys something really really cool in it!

In this book, Russ Blowers, a preacher, was a minister in Indiapolis. He knew he would be questioned about his profession at a Rotary Club, meeting and he said this,

"Hi, I'm Russ Blowers. I'm witha global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have representatives in nearly every parliament and boardroom on earth. We're into motivation and behaviour alteration. We run hospitals, feeding stations, crisis-pregnancy centers, universities, publishing houses, and nursing homes. We care for our clients from birth to death. We are into life insurance and fire insurance. We perform spiritual heart transplants. Our orginal Organiser owns all the real estate on eart plus an assortment of galaxies and constellations. He knows everything and lives everywhere. Our product is free for the asking. (There is not enough money to buy it.) Our CEO was born in a hick town, worked as a carpenter, didn't own a home, was misunderstood by his family and hated by his enemies, walked on water, [turned water in wine], was condemned to death without a trial, and arose from the dead. I talk with him everyday."

Cool right! =))) So cool. I can't get over it. =DD

uni camp'08

PEOPLE!! This blog looks totally dead, I'm doing something about it =D Whee! By the way, Guanrui, your tag on the last "olympics" photo is totally funny!

Okay, I digressed, as usual. Coming back to the point, Uni-camp was totally fun and cool! I learnt so much, had so much fun and got to know a few people better! That's not the point, I digressed again. I think Uni-camp pulled me so much closer to God. He made me understand how deep and great His love was/is for us, the importance of pnw and qt, as well as the ppl around me. He humbled my heart then, filled me with guilt, a heart of repentance, awe for His love, glory and grace, as well as understanding.

From there, I xia ding jue xing to follow Him, to be more God-centred. Placing Him in the core of my life has been one of the rare right decisions I’ve ever made in my life. For once, I felt like my life was going alright, I was making the right decision: to follow God, His Ways, and everything He tells me. I may seem a bit extreme, but I even asked Him if I should quit.

I think what God wants me to do is simply, basic things. It’s totally back-to-basics for me. This reminds me, on thurs, minghan asked how long I’ve been a Christian. I said 9 months, and he said “Huh? Really? Then why are you still so noob?”

His words hit home, for once. [You know how he usually sprouts funny/rubbish things.] I was about to bellow a huge “NO!”, but I stopped myself and reflected. In that split moment, I realized, yeah, I’m a noob, and it’s sort of sad considering my 9 months (pregnancy). My progress has been minimal, if at all. That day, I thank God for minghan. [haha that day only! Okie, kidding, mingjiao don’t be so bad.] I still do.

I have many many many points to pray for, in terms of growth. I think I have too many faults and shortcomings to overcome, some of them are things which I thought I had overcame, which in fact I was just blocking out. Basically, I should grow in:

Forcing myself to keep up my QTs and M&Ms and prayers [the lousy wasabi and vinegar game was so demoralizing and motivating at the same time. By the way, I had mild diarrhea yesterday and today, thanks to the wasabi and kangkong that was so spicy I turned red after it touched my tongue!]
Prayer Stamina
Heart, mind, body and soul after God!
Humility
Patience/Understanding

Yeah well, as you can see, I’m the equivalent of a noob. Haha, but then again, it’s a form of motivation for me, for I hate being noobish when I’m not supposed to be noob. I want to do a lot of things, like serve, like having a sheep, but I know I’m not good enough, and that’s a huge persuasion point for me.
Before I end off, can I tell you guys something? You guys must scold me whenever I do something wrong kae? Or I’ll never learn. I’m the equivalent of a stubborn mule, one that keeps repeating the same mistakes, unless someone or God hits me hard on the head. So you guys must scold me okay! Guanrui! You must kae! You’re always so polite. Jasmine! You also! You are too nice! But I definitely do not need to say this to minghan. Bleah.

Hmm. I will miss you guys. And lily.

Irritating. =((

Bless you all.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” ~Hebrews 11:1

UNI Camp'08 : Points to Follow -Thru

Yeah! I finally found time to sit down to update the blog and add some new photos i have!

Even I've already shared my learning points from the UNI camp @ St. John's Island, i would like to also post them on the blog. Please feel free to post yours too! And we can keep each other in prayer, and really see how God will lead us thru these points we have reflected upon.

I believe God wants me to . . .

1)Be ready to share about His love to people who want to know more about Him. I would need to grow strong in the understanding of the Word, so that when i speak i do not speak with my voice and might, but by God's authority and His Spirit in work.

2)Approach God with boldness instead of timidity, with confidence instead of fear.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
2 Tim 1:7

I will not be hesistant in doing what God wants me to do, giving Him my very best in growing up his sheep/s, and serving Him with the gifts and talents given to me. I need to grow in courage and trust in Him that no matter how difficult i perceived what is ahead of me, it is God who is going to grow and lead me, and He will definitely help me, because He loves His people.

He accepts me as I was when i received Him into my life. He doesn't want me to remain as i am.

3)Not be envy of the abilities of others, but be faithful with what i already have. I must understand that it is not about whether i am good at everything, but whether i am able to work in a team, like a mini gear in the watch, a part of the body of Christ. I need to pour in my best as a part of this Body.

4)As I am learning to be a praise and worship support singer, i need to learn to lead myself to worship into God's presence to hear from God. Seeing myself as a minister used by God to lead people to draw people to God thru singing and praying to Him. End of the day, it is not whether the music is perfect or voice is wonderful, but whether everyone met God during the time of praise and worship.

Hao ba! That's all from me right now!

Olympics? Shouldn't the 3 circles be on the top row instead? Hmmm... haha

ready to meet God at anytime?

Adam and Eve were called to "be fruitful & multiply", they had a big lobang from God Himself, to work as a King & Queen of the animals, land and everything on Earth. S, for their first full-time job as a gardener and ruler, were they sucessful? Not too bad I say, Adam managed to name every animal God gave to Him at first. But Eve screwed it up after seeing the supposedly juicy and delicious fruit the serpent showed her.

An average joe'll spend a large part of his time & effort on either studies or work, depending on which life station he's in. doing a simple calculation, i may well be spending half my "awake" time for studies, going lectures, doing tutorials, etc etc. It's really not easy being fruitful, the challenges of a student is not less that Adam..You face the teacher who cant teach well, or rather, dont even know if he know what he's talking about..you face peers who mug 24/7 and tells you that he didnt study enough..you've tutorials, projects and assignments that never seem to cease for some reasons..

BUT, while we try our best in whatever we can, excelling in all that we know best..an important question to ask ourselves amidst all these..are we consistently, continually walking right with God?

When the Creator "happen to walk in the garden", which state are we often ccaught in?
1) in the act of sinning, such that we had to hide when we hear His footsteps
e.g. compromising on the standard of our Christian faith in face of the serpent, we give in too easily to the easier way out, to do the things that does not require us to sacrifise..only to find so much guilt within that we cannot face God, sometimes even man..

2) standing firm in our faith, such that we're all-ready to jump on Him and say a big "HI GOD!! whazzup yo?"
(imagine the serpent being so angry he evaporated into the air..weessh..)

What is the BIG juicy fruit in our lives that we're likely to give in to?
C.A.P. 5? handsome man to marry us off? (I know the bros wont look at the exterior rite? ;p) spectacular resume to show to our future employers? Slacking and watching TV all day long if we're not required to take on any responsibilities?

just as it is a constant struggle for all of us, we can be assured that God's grace and love is all-abounding and ever so deep and great, we can be granted full forgiveness. But let us not take His grace for granted. seriously, it hurts God most whenever we compromise on our faith. it's like a father who told a child not to jump around in the garden..the child refuses to because it's really fun! when the child knocks into a pot of flowers, toppling the soil and destroying the flowers and evrything..the father rushes to catch the child and hug him, "boy, are you hurt?" As he says these words, the father was feeling hurt and worried, "you shouldnt have jumped around like that.."

Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. (James 4:7-8a)

scary hairy not-funny

Hey peeps. Been a long time since I blogged. Anyhow, I was on a super crowded bus one day, and I heard some scary news, which reminded me of what Huili said about the things that will happen just before the Second coming of Jesus. It seriously scares me, and I want to share the scare with you.

Please read:


Jesus tomb found, says film-maker
A documentary claims this is the ossuary of Jesus ChristJesus had a son named Judah and was buried alongside Mary Magdalene, according to a new documentary by Hollywood film director James Cameron.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6397373.stm


CBS, USASep. 12, 2006 Ileana Varela
• Followers Claim Doral Man is God On Earth
• Jose Luis deJesus Claims There Is No Heaven, No Hell
• Followers Believe All Other Religions Must Be Destroyed
The Man Who Claims To Be Jesus


This Man Thinks He's Jesus H. Christ!
And a lot of people agree with him
By Keith Plocek Published: November 30, 2006
http://www.houstonpress.com/2006-11-30/news/this-man-thinks-he-s-jesus-h-christ/


All these seriously scares me, man. I'm getting the freaks while copying and pasting these for you guys. You guys are smart enough to know what these means.....

Easter

It's going to be Easter very soon!!!! Let's celebrate the death and ressurrection of Jesus, whom so by overcoming the grave saved our souls for eternity. Hope to see us inviting friends for the coming 2 special Easter Services too. :)

"He was delivered over to death for our sins, and was raised to life for our justification."
Rom 4:25

re-looking at John 9:1-12

a devotional that i received, hope it will bless u.. :) Even though we've QT on the passage before, i thought it was written in a rather new and refreshing perpective-that of the blind man, and how his heart was obedient despite the ridicules and difficulties. If at any point in time we faced difficulties, or even struggles, are we any far off away from a blind man? I pray that we'll learn the valuable attitude of obedience and enjoy the sweetness of experiencing our LORD Jesus Christ through obeying Him.


Jesus Sent, The Blind Man Went
by Jon Walker

His neighbors and others who knew him as a blind beggar asked each other, "Is this the same man—that beggar?" Some said he was, and others said, "No, but he surely looks like him!" And the beggar kept saying, "I am the same man!" They asked, "Who healed you? What happened?" John 9:8-10 (NLT)
*** *** ***
And so Jesus came upon a man who’d been blind since birth. The man was begging on the streets of Jerusalem, just to survive until the next day. Although people were all around him, he sat in isolation. No one could truly understand his fears and his frustrations; People passed by, some even spoke to him, some even gave him money, but no one could really understand his situation.

Just then, a man knelt next to him and, perhaps, said quietly, “If you do exactly what I tell you to do, you’ll be able to see. I will heal you.”

The blind man was desperate to be healed; he was desperate for change; he was desperate for a sign from God, desperate to know he hadn’t been forgotten. The blind beggar may have turned toward the voice, expecting the one speaking – the one they call Jesus – to command his eyes to open, expecting that Jesus would speak light where there had only been darkness his whole life. Just speak, Lord, and it will be done.

But Jesus didn’t give the command. The blind man may not have even been aware of what Jesus was doing in that moment – working his saliva into the mud, which Jesus then spread across the man’s eyes like a mask.

Then Jesus said, “Go and wash in the pool of Siloam.” (John 9:7, NLT) At first, the blind man may have hesitated, confused about how going to Siloam would give him sight. But his desperation pushed him onward toward the pool.

As he stumbled to Siloam, he may have been wondering, "Why would Jesus make me do this, when he could have simply healed me back there?"

He may have heard the laughter and ridicule as people watched him slowly walk toward the pool: “Look at that fool with the mud in his eyes. Don’t you know even we can’t see with mud in our eyes! Are you crazy enough to think you’ll really be healed?”

But the blind man could not be shamed from doing whatever it took to be healed. Jesus told the blind man to do exactly what he was told to do, and if that meant washing his face in the pool of Siloam, then he would wash his face in the pool of Siloam, no matter what anyone else said. Siloam means "sent" – Jesus sent, and the man went, and when he’d washed his face the man could see!

As he walked back to the place he had been, those who had ridiculed him saw a very changed man, a man born blind who now could see.

Since the beginning of the world, no one has been to open the eyes of someone born blind. (John 9:32) But now there is Jesus! Praise God!

The blind man now has eyes that see, but those around him can’t believe their eyes. He can now see, but they are blind to the ways of Jesus.

What does this mean?
· Do what Jesus tells you do – The blind man’s experience shows that Jesus uses our obedience to heal our hurts and to strengthen our faith. Think of a challenge you now face or an issue that needs godly resolution: What is Jesus telling you to do?

· Do exactly what Jesus says to do – Jesus gave specific instructions to the blind man. He didn’t say, “Wipe the mud from your eyes.” He didn’t say, “Go to the nearest well for water and then wash your face.” He said. “Go to Siloam.” When Jesus tells us what to do, we need to pay close attention to the details. He may be asking more than you think, but listen carefully – he may be asking you to do less than you think in a specific situation.

· Do what you know to do – If you’re struggling to hear from God, wondering what he wants you to do in a situation – think through what you already know you should be doing and do that. In other words, if you’re waiting on God to tell you whether you should go on mission to Vietnam or Brazil, you can still do the things you know God wants you to do: prayer, Bible study, developing the fruits of the Spirit, and so forth.

· Our obedience becomes our witness – Jesus uses our obedience to help others see the power of God. “The beggar’s neighbors began to ask, ‘Who healed you? What happened?’”(John 9:10, NLT)

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life.
All rights reserved.
Pastor Jon Walker is a writer for http://www.gracecreates.com/.